


nobody hears the dead when they scream (except you)

by orphan_account



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: A look into the past, Angst, Brief mentions of suicide, Drug Addiction, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Overdose, This has a very hopeful ending, aka because Ben just comes back thanks to Klaus, character death is temporary, if im remembering right, no mentions of the apocalypse in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-18 16:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18253898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Klaus had been the last to realize that Ben was dead when they found him, and it was the most heartbreaking for him. They found his corpse in his closet. Grace had been attempting to pack away their uniforms when she opened the door to it, and even her artificial intelligence couldn’t stop her from letting out a hauntingly robotic screech.Based on the headcanon that Ben killed himself because using his powers was too physically painful and emotionally traumatising for him.





	nobody hears the dead when they scream (except you)

**Author's Note:**

> If you're not comfortable with brief mentions of suicide PLEASE don't read this it won't be fun for you. I'm sorry in advance too. :C

Ben had a lot of trouble getting used to being a ghost at first. It wasn’t even the fact that no one could hear him- he rarely spoke while he was alive anyway. The most jarring thing about existing in limbo was that he couldn’t touch anyone. Part of him was glad; It meant that he could never harm again. His pent-up feelings towards his powers were probably never going to be resolved, but at least he didn’t need to actively worry about them anymore.

Vanya had said it herself, when she had finally decided to write a book about her trauma. Ben was the rock of the siblings. It was more than just being the rational, calm one of the group. Something in him reached out to each of them, wordplay unintended. He could sense when they were upset, or angry, or broken, and he took it upon himself in those early years of his life to help out.

 

“There’s nothing like a Ben hug,” Klaus used to joke, and although it was said lightly the rest of the group would murmur in agreement, thinking of dark nights with angry corners and harsh, unyielding edges. Ben made it softer somehow- a comfort even to Five, the most emotionally distant of the group at their young age.

 

So not being able to provide that for the rest of them hurt more than he could admit. The fact that he was so thoroughly ignored at times by the only person who could _hear_ him also stung, because all he wanted was to help.

 

-

 

Klaus had been the last to realize that Ben was dead when they found him, and it was the most heartbreaking for him. They found his corpse in his closet. Grace had been attempting to pack away their uniforms when she opened the door to it, and even her artificial intelligence couldn’t stop her from letting out a hauntingly robotic screech.

 

His siblings had been ushered out of Number Six’s room almost immediately after they had come running in, alarmed at the sounds of Grace’s distress. When Klaus found them, they were distraught. Vanya was sobbing, and Alison was buried in Luther’s arms, no doubt quelling the strong boy’s need to punch something out of sheer horror. Klaus had raised his eyebrows in concern and glanced at Ben before ducking inside the room, ignoring the warnings of his siblings. The sight in front of him seemed to stop him in his tracks, and for a moment Klaus was eerily silent.

 

“Ben?” Klaus’ voice cracked and suddenly he stepped towards the sixth, hand outstretched desperately. “Take it. Ben, take my hand, tell me this is just a bad fucking trip or something,” he whispered, and Ben looked away. Tears welled up in Klaus’ eyes and he choked on thin air, walking out of the room and in turn passing through Ben for the first time. It felt sickening, but it was nothing compared to the regret deep-seated in his bones when Ben looked at his own body hanging limply from a rope.

 

-

 

Klaus got high after that, and Ben learned what it was like to only exist at the will of another. It wasn’t that he disappeared, but when his brother was taking drugs it was painfully clear that nobody else in the world could hear him. To make matters worse, he couldn’t really stray far from his place of death unless he was following Klaus. It was either bore himself to death - hah - in a shuttered off room or watch his dearest brother tear himself apart in grief.

 

He hated that he was lonely enough to choose the latter.

 

When Klaus turned sixteen, he overdosed for the first time. Honestly, Ben was surprised that it had taken that long to happen. Apparently the mix of drugs in Klaus’ system had finally malfunctioned somewhere. It was probably the scariest thing Ben ever had to watch, and he spent a majority of it trying to hold his brother’s hands in support.

 

“Klaus?” Ben stood up when his brother didn’t reply from his position on the floor, and walked over to the teen sprawled out listlessly below him.

“Can you hear me at all?” He tried not to think much of it, painfully aware that while high his brother was blissfully free of his powers, but began to worry when Klaus had been unresponsive for over five minutes. Ben saw his chest rising and falling, but it was slow-going. Anxiety tore at his stomach and he prayed that someone would find them before the drugs went too far and the effects were irreversible.

 

Fear gripped him when he thought about what might happen without Klaus to keep him company. Ghosts didn’t seem to be able to interact with one another unless Klaus was directly involved- what would happen at his death? The notion itself made his throat close up. He didn’t really need to breathe anymore, but the muscle memory was comforting and the sudden stop of said behavior sent him spiralling into full-blown panic.

 

“I never- I never really got the chance,” Ben started, unsure if his brother could even hear him speaking, “I never said sorry. For what I did. And I know that if you weren’t fucking high all the time and you could talk back you’d say that I don’t have to apologize because it’s not supposed to work like that, but I’m sorry. I know that me just- just up and dying like that wasn’t helpful to anyone, and I just.. I didn’t want to be in pain anymore. It was selfish of me, and I wish more than anything that I could take it back…. Please wake up.”  

 

He sat in silence next to Klaus’ unmoving figure, shaking and trying not to think about the life slipping away right in front of his eyes. Slowly, quietly, he reached out to take one of his brother’s limp hands. Ben stopped moments before they touched, and instead rested his hand there, inches above Klaus’ palm. It wasn’t real, but it was comforting.

 

When the junkie who found Klaus called an ambulance, Ben wanted to _kiss_ them. He clambered after his too-frail, too-skinny sibling and stood over his body as the EMTs prepped an AED. Somewhere in the middle of the chaos Klaus had stopped breathing, and Ben’s heart sank. _What if it was too late_ …

 

Klaus gasped awake and the first thing he did was let out a delirious giggle. The EMTs shared a nervous look and tried to get some information out of him; He snuck out the back of the ambulance when they pulled up to the front of the hospital, using the worker’s distractions to his benefit and beginning a long trek home.

 

“You should go to rehab,” Ben said.

 

“Ha! That’s rich, but I think dear Dad would throw a fit at me being out of his control for more than a day,” Klaus snarked in response. He ignored Ben’s obvious concern in favor of digging around in his pockets. Ben trailed behind and let out a cry of frustration when he saw his brother triumphantly pull out a packet of some form of pill.

 

“Klaus, please-“

 

“Bye, Ben,” Klaus smiled coldly and slapped his palm to his mouth, crunching down on the colorful drugs and wincing at the flavor. Ben pretended not to notice the sadness written in the lines of Klaus’ skin, instead falling silent as his brother tuned him out with chemical lies.

 

The sun set mournfully over the tips of buildings by the time Klaus really recognized where he was going. He still had nearly an hour to walk before he made it home, but the dark of night was soothing and he knew how to fend for himself (a lie, but comforting nonetheless.)

 

“I heard you, y’know. And you’re right- I wanted to say shut up, because I should have been there. For you, I mean. Guess I was too busy being fucked up,” Klaus sniffled a laugh, “I was just frozen. Everything was so _painful, god_ , they never tell you just how fucking agonizing it is to die. I guess you’d know, huh?”

 

Ben stays silent.

 

“Sorry. I’m sorry, that was mean. It’s hard for me to fucking admit it, but I miss you. A lot. And sometimes I get scared that I’ll never see you again because I’m high all the fucking time, but as selfish as it is I can’t stop. Maybe I’m an addict,” Klaus mused, and Ben laughed at that.

 

“Maybe?”

 

Klaus whirled around in alarm, looking even more surprised when he came face-to-face with Ben.

 

“I can see you,” Klaus whispered, and his brows furrowed. “But if I’m high right now, does that mean you’re just immune to my utter bullshit, or that every ghost in town is? That’s a disturbing thought.”

 

“I guess you’re stuck with me,” Ben said with a smile. Klaus returned the gesture with a joking middle finger and kept a running flow of commentary for the rest of the walk home.

 

-

 

Trying to make the most of the afterlife was a struggle at times. Namely, on the anniversary of his own death. Ben found it morbid to watch his siblings mourn his death while he was standing next to them- he didn’t like the way Diego’s stutter returned and Alison’s voice hitched when they spoke about him. It reminded him that what he’d been driven to do had consequences, and god knows anybody in their right minds feared repercussions just as much as repentance.

 

What was possibly more frustrating, however, was the utter lack of respect for anything Klaus tried to say at all. As a grateful outlier to the trend of child weapons, Ben could clearly see that his siblings had fallen into the same disdainful treatment for addicts that Reginald Hargreeves’ had seemed to believe in. How ever pitiful Klaus may be while in the thralls of his wolfsbane didn’t negate his right to speak and be heard- it shouldn’t erases the respect his siblings have for him. Obviously this was not the case, but Ben still felt so strongly about it that he voiced it almost any time Klaus was forced to talk to his siblings at all.

 

“It’s really not-”

 

“Yes, I’m well aware. Everyone, Ben wants you to pay more attention to me for some reason,” Klaus drawled breezily, and earned several disgusted scowls.

 

“It won’t do you well to speak badly of him, Klaus,” Luther warned, and Klaus just smiled his goofy smile and waved his oaf of a brother off.

“Relax, Number One- I would never want to hurt dear Ben’s feelings.” Klaus punctuated this remark by gesturing to where Ben was currently residing on the edge of an armchair. Luther snarled. Ben heard the punch more than felt it, but still winced when Klaus groaned in pain and crumpled to the floor. Number One stalked out of the room, Allison trailing him in what could be described as an unhealthy mix of anger and shock. Hopefully it was going to be directed towards the right brother.

 

“Very nice, thanks,” Klaus wheezed, tears forming involuntarily in his eyes as he clutched his stomach. His hands shook when he pulled them away at last, and the junkie ignored the rest of his siblings’ alarmed looks in favor of walking away, already digging through his pockets for his next hit. At least this time there’d be some physical pain to seep away.

 

Ben followed him slowly, looking back at Diego and Vanya and wishing he could say something as comfort. Even if he had been able to, he wasn’t sure what he’d tell them.

 

-

 

“Ben! Hey Ben, _psssst_ , wake up!”

 

Both Klaus and Ben both knew that he wasn’t technically capable of sleep. However, like breathing, the act seemed to be more of a comfort than necessity. Ben cracked one eye open and met his brother’s ecstatic gaze; “...What?”

 

“I just got the most incredible tattoos,” Klaus giggled, and now Ben really _was_ awake. Ever since Ben could remember, Klaus had been adamant in rejecting absolutely anything Reginald had seemed to support. That hadn’t changed in the slightest over the years, and getting the Umbrella Insignia tattooed forcefully on his forearm had only cemented their father further in his book of people to never give a shred of mercy.

 

“Well, I’m awake now. Show me,” Ben sighed. His brother lifted his arms and did a dramatic display of jazz-hands; It took Ben a moment to realize that what he was focusing on _was_ the hands.

 

“ _Holy_ shit.”

 

“Perfect, right?”

 

Ben burst out laughing. Of course Klaus would get something so silly tattooed on him, it would be out of character for him to get anything less. A big ‘HELLO’ was plastered onto his right hand, ‘GOODBYE’ completing the set on his left. 

“You’re a walking Ouija board!” He couldn’t help let the rest of his incredulous giggles go, and Klaus joined in with a tired grin.

 

“Hurt like a bitch though, I will admit.” Klaus held his hand out and gently placed his palm over Ben’s, who held back his flinch and stayed perfectly still. There was no sensation in it- to Klaus, it felt like his hand was resting on the covers of Ben’s bed. And to Ben, well, he never really felt much in the first place.

 

If he couldn’t find comfort in the afterlife, Ben decided, he’d just have to start looking harder.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it, lemme know if you see any spelling errors or grammatical errors and also what you thought of the fic! I know I promised to write a second chapter of that other fic I worked on but uh , ,,,, I kinda lost sight of where it was going and I couldn't get anything to really work. I'll keep trying though! I have a couple of other angsty ideas to write too ;)


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